Marry the Night

American Heritage Dictionary: Definition of Patient:

1. Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness.
2. Marked by or exhibiting calm endurance of pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance.
3. Tolerant; understanding: an unfailingly patient leader and guide.
4. Persevering; constant: With patient industry, she revived the failing business and made it thrive.
5. Capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; not hasty or impulsive.

Definition number one gets me the most: “Bearing or enduring pain.” I never thought of that as directly related to patience. I am tolerant, I am understanding, I am calm. I, however, am not good at bearing or enduring pain with calmness. I want relief and I want it now.

We often cause our own pain and then become angry for the mess we’ve created. We want a fix. We want a solution. But it takes so short a time to create that mess and so long a time to clean it up. So we become angry, pouty, pissed off at the world.

We tell ourselves we deserve financial relief, happiness and peace. But the world didn’t make your bed. You did. You made choices and every tiny one led you here. It hurts to let yourself down but I think we have to face it. We can’t be afraid of the dark, of the aching pain that keeps us awake at night. Hold on to that pain, love it, accept it and embrace it as a part of you. Just as Lady GaGa says, I’m going to marry the night. So hang on. Be patient. There will be daylight again.