Two years ago today at 5am after hours of pain and a near epidural crisis my little man, Hudson Lee Rainsbarger, found his way into the world: all 9lbs and 10ozs of him. I remember that day and Briana’s birth day just like it happened yesterday. Here is what I have to give back to you from my experience:
1.) If you are experiencing any contractions, even light, go to the doctor. Do not take medication (approved by the doctor), go back to sleep and hope it’s over when you wake up. If you do this it is possible you will wake up 2 hours later with heavy contractions and make it to the hospital when you’re 7cm dilated (birth occurs at 10cm) and nearly miss your chance for an epidural.
2.) When you are having said contractions, do not tell your husband he has enough time to take a shower. I don’t know if it’s worse that I let him or that he asked.
3.) If you are a nurse and dealing with a mother in labor do not tell her she can not have an epidural when she wants one unless it is the necessary time to do so. To this day I think it was the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me and I reacted accordingly. I hope the nurse can forgive me.
4.) As the mother in labor, do not accept that you can not have an epidural unless baby’s head is on its way out. I didn’t and received an epidural at 9cm which allowed my labor to slow down until I was comfortable enough to give birth. In my experience, epidurals enhance your awareness of the process. You can focus on baby and not on pain.
5.) As a supporter for the mother in labor it is best to do as she says and realize that she is not angry at you no matter how harsh she sounds. She is in pain and cares about nothing but getting through the pain. You might be married to a quiet, shy and sweet woman but when in labor that woman is gone. Be prepared for a few hours of a new wife.
So that was Hudson’s birthday in a shell. Even though writing it this way makes the experience sound a little terrible, it was quite opposite. It was one of the most emotional and wonderful days of my life. I will always remember it and would relive it in half a baby’s heartbeat.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
2012: I Can Do It
In the spirit of saying I Can Do It (see previous blog post) here are a few things I’d like to focus on this year:
Me- I’m important and I should always be working on myself…whatever that means.
Motherhood- I want to be a more patient and aware mother.
Friendship- I want to be a better listener, I want to be more honest…but more kind
Try It- If I decide I WANT to do something in life then I don’t want to be the force that holds me back. I want to try try try.
Career- If all I accomplish this year is a direction, a path…then that’s enough for me. It has been such a struggle.
Also I’ve decided that it’s less important to set a time frame for your concrete goals than it is to just keep working at them. If you keep working then you are guaranteed to get there but if you set a time frame and fail to meet that expectation it only discourages you from pushing harder. My advice to you and to myself this year is to set mini goals. Focus less on goals that are a million miles away and more on what’s right in front of you…what’s reachable.
Most of all I say be good to yourself. Don’t listen to the people who hurt you. If you’re doing something positive with your life and you have a person finding a way to put you down or say negative and hurtful things about it then that is not a reflection of you, that is a reflection of their own self worth, their own self loathing. If everyone loved themselves, all would be right in the world.
Me- I’m important and I should always be working on myself…whatever that means.
Motherhood- I want to be a more patient and aware mother.
Friendship- I want to be a better listener, I want to be more honest…but more kind
Try It- If I decide I WANT to do something in life then I don’t want to be the force that holds me back. I want to try try try.
Career- If all I accomplish this year is a direction, a path…then that’s enough for me. It has been such a struggle.
Also I’ve decided that it’s less important to set a time frame for your concrete goals than it is to just keep working at them. If you keep working then you are guaranteed to get there but if you set a time frame and fail to meet that expectation it only discourages you from pushing harder. My advice to you and to myself this year is to set mini goals. Focus less on goals that are a million miles away and more on what’s right in front of you…what’s reachable.
Most of all I say be good to yourself. Don’t listen to the people who hurt you. If you’re doing something positive with your life and you have a person finding a way to put you down or say negative and hurtful things about it then that is not a reflection of you, that is a reflection of their own self worth, their own self loathing. If everyone loved themselves, all would be right in the world.
I Feel New
Something about starting 2012 didn’t sit well with me in December. The New Year is all about making changes and resolutions and beginnings. But I knew that if I put that pressure on myself, if I made a promise to myself I would let myself down; I would fail. As they say, the past is your best prediction of the future.
I was flipping through channels when I came across Joel Osteen. Just as a quick side note-I can’t stand watching him preach…it makes me queasy. But before I changed the channel he said something that struck me: “We can’t always help having negative thoughts about ourselves, but don’t you dare speak them; don’t you dare bring life to those thoughts. If you do, then they are real. If you do then they are the truth.”
Wow. How often do I say things like…I can’t do it; I’m not smart enough; I’m not fast enough; I’m not social enough? I think these things all the time but I often speak them too. And he’s right. If we think them and then say them then we are giving life to them. They become true. They become the vision of ourselves. If I say I’m not smart enough then I will only act in life as though I am not smart enough.
So what happens if we change what we speak? I will probably always feel at least a little insecure. It will always occur to me that I can’t do something; that I can’t be the best me; that I’m not strong enough. But if I say out loud that I can do it, if I tell other people that I am strong enough, if I speak about my successes instead of my failures then maybe I can start to make my mind believe it to. Maybe my speech will influence my actions and my thoughts won’t be true anymore.
I feel like someone just put the spotlight on me. I feel like someone just peeled my eyes open.
I was flipping through channels when I came across Joel Osteen. Just as a quick side note-I can’t stand watching him preach…it makes me queasy. But before I changed the channel he said something that struck me: “We can’t always help having negative thoughts about ourselves, but don’t you dare speak them; don’t you dare bring life to those thoughts. If you do, then they are real. If you do then they are the truth.”
Wow. How often do I say things like…I can’t do it; I’m not smart enough; I’m not fast enough; I’m not social enough? I think these things all the time but I often speak them too. And he’s right. If we think them and then say them then we are giving life to them. They become true. They become the vision of ourselves. If I say I’m not smart enough then I will only act in life as though I am not smart enough.
So what happens if we change what we speak? I will probably always feel at least a little insecure. It will always occur to me that I can’t do something; that I can’t be the best me; that I’m not strong enough. But if I say out loud that I can do it, if I tell other people that I am strong enough, if I speak about my successes instead of my failures then maybe I can start to make my mind believe it to. Maybe my speech will influence my actions and my thoughts won’t be true anymore.
I feel like someone just put the spotlight on me. I feel like someone just peeled my eyes open.
Monday, December 19, 2011
You Are So Blessed
The mall walking lady to me and Charles (with her hand on her heart) after seeing Briana and Hudson holding hands while walking together after their fun Christmas train ride at Metro North: “Oh my gosh, you are so blessed.”
Yes, yes we are. Thank you for reminding me.
Yes, yes we are. Thank you for reminding me.
Friday, December 16, 2011
A Reflection of 2011
I started off writing this post by trying to think of all the big things that happened to me in 2011. But my list seemed less significant than it was last year. In 2010 I had a baby, I bought a home and I changed jobs. Life was good and stressful.
This year I’ve achieved my first full year at my new job, which is good, but I have to say I’m still unsure about my career path. I’m still looking, still listening and still hoping for a spark. Hudson turned one and Briana turned four, which may be not as significant to others but to me it meant that my little boy wasn’t a baby anymore, and my little girl is nearly school age.
Other than that life has been mostly normal. Charles is his same old good daddy and hard working self and I’m the same old content yet unsatisfied with my direction in life kind of girl. So for this I am thankful. I am thankful that things have been mostly smooth and low key. I’m thankful we are both able to support our family. I’m thankful we still have each other and our health. I have a tendency to want to shake things up when they get a little slow, but when things are smooth it just means you’ve achieved what you’ve worked hard for.
The world is big scary place. But if I have my family to come home to, it’s all okay. Here's to another year.
This year I’ve achieved my first full year at my new job, which is good, but I have to say I’m still unsure about my career path. I’m still looking, still listening and still hoping for a spark. Hudson turned one and Briana turned four, which may be not as significant to others but to me it meant that my little boy wasn’t a baby anymore, and my little girl is nearly school age.
Other than that life has been mostly normal. Charles is his same old good daddy and hard working self and I’m the same old content yet unsatisfied with my direction in life kind of girl. So for this I am thankful. I am thankful that things have been mostly smooth and low key. I’m thankful we are both able to support our family. I’m thankful we still have each other and our health. I have a tendency to want to shake things up when they get a little slow, but when things are smooth it just means you’ve achieved what you’ve worked hard for.
The world is big scary place. But if I have my family to come home to, it’s all okay. Here's to another year.
Friday, December 2, 2011
A Healthy Update
I don’t know about you but I have notice a significant drop in blog posts these last few weeks. I think it’s because everyone is so busy…but it made me feel more motivated to write something. I enjoy reading everyone’s posts so if you’re reading this now I really think you should take a minute to write something down. Just saying ;)
It’s kind of a boring update but I have reached my 10 lb (5%) Weight Watchers (WW) goal! Okay, the explanation point at the end of the previous sentence is kind of a fake. I would be more excited about this milestone if I didn’t feel doomed to fail the last four weeks of my WW weigh-ins. Even though I have reached my 5% weight loss milestone…I’ve only lost .2 lbs in 2 weeks. I haven’t gained weight…true…but I haven’t really lost any either. I’m just very aware of my motivation loss and trying to figure out a way to get it back.
Speaking of that….WW has come out with an additional program for people who don’t really like to track what they eat (it is kind of a pain). This new plan, Simply Filling, just reminds me how I don’t need to pay someone to tell me how to eat healthy. What I’m saying is that the new plan is nothing you or I don’t know. If you eat these foods you will lose weight and/or live a healthier lifestyle. End of story. Duh. But they kind of put it in a list for you, that way what you can and can’t eat is pretty clear. The idea is that you can eat these foods whenever you’re hungry as long as you stop when you’re full and you don’t have to count the points they are worth. Also, you can still eat the sweets and fried food you like but they don’t count as power foods and you have to track those to stay on course. I know I haven’t been incorporating enough of these power foods into my diet. So incase you care what these power foods are here is the list:
Fruits
All fresh, frozen, or canned without added sugar
•Fruit canned in its own juice (drained)
•Fruit salad — mixed fruits with no added sugar
All fruits, except dried fruits and fruit juices, are zero PointsPlus values!
Vegetables
•Most fresh, frozen or canned without added sugar or oil — whether or not it has PointsPlus values per serving
•Potatoes — white, red sweet
All vegetables have zero PointsPlus values, except potatoes, peas, corn, and avocados. Avocados are not a Power Food.
Whole grains
•Brown and wild rice
•Hot cereals, cooked — without added sugar, dried fruits, or nuts
◦100% bran
◦Cream of rice
◦Cream of wheat
◦Grits
◦Oatmeal
•Pasta, whole-wheat or other whole-grain varieties
•Popcorn, air-popped, or 94% fat-free microwave-popped
•Whole-grain, ready-to-eat cereals without added sugar, dried fruits or nuts, and with 4g of fiber or more per serving
•Whole-grains such as:
◦Barley
◦Buckwheat
◦Bulgur
◦Cornmeal (polenta)
◦Whole-wheat couscous
◦Quinoa
Non-Fat Dairy and Dairy Substitutes
•Fat-free cheeses, including fat-free cottage cheese
•Fat-free milk and beverages made with fat-free milk, such as:
•Cappuccino or latte, as long as it’s sugar-free
•Yogurt, fat-free, plain or flavored with artificial sweetener
•Fat-free sour cream
•Soy products, unflavored and plain, such as:
•Calcium-fortified soy milk
•Unflavored soy milk
•Fat-free soy cheese
•Plain soy yogurt
Lean proteins (see food list for specific cuts and grinds)
•Beef, chicken, lamb, pork, turkey, veal: lean, trimmed, all skin removed
•Dried beans, including canned black, cannellini, kidney, refried, and white
•Dried peas, including black-eyed peas and split peas
•Eggs: Whole, whites, and fat-free substitute
•Game meats, including buffalo, elk, ostrich and venison
•Lentils
•Meat substitutes, including tofu and vegetarian burgers
•Most fish and shellfish: fresh, frozen, and canned
•Organ meats from beef, lamb, pork, veal, and poultry
Breads
◦Light English muffins
◦Light hot dog and hamburger rolls
◦Reduced-calorie (light) breads (whole grains are the best choice)
Soups
◦Broth, onion, and some broth- and tomato-based vegetable soups
Desserts
◦Sugar-free gelatin
Beverages
•Coffee (without sugar)
•Tea (without sugar)
•Diet soda
•Club soda
•Seltzer (plain or flavored, unsweetened)
•Water
Seasonings and condiments
•Baking powder
•Baking soda
•Capers
•Cocktail sauce
•Extracts
•Fat-free salad dressings
•Fat-free margarine
•Fat-free mayonnaise
•Flavorings
•Herbs
•Hot sauce (pepper sauce)
•Ketchup
•Lemon juice
•Lime juice
•Mustard
•Nonstick cooking or baking spray
•Salsa (fat-free)
•Soy sauce (shoyu)
•Spices
•Steak sauce
•Sugar substitutes
•Taco sauce
•Teriyaki sauce
•Vinegar
•Worcestershire Sauce
Healthy oils
Include 2 tsp each day without counting PointsPlus values. Use your weekly PointsPlus Allowance for any additional oil.
•Olive oil
•Canola oil
•Safflower oil
•Sunflower oil
•Flaxseed oil
I think this leaves a lot of meal options without having to mess with counting all those points. Now I can have my fruit smoothies, pasta, ranch dressing on salads, and buns on my hotdogs and burgers. I don’t have to count points for eggs or multigrain toast anymore! Best of all, I don’t have to count my fat-free cheese! Sorry, I’m a little excited. I won’t make any promises but I’m going to try to stick to these food choices for the next 4 weeks in order to get as close to my goal weight as possible.
It’s kind of a boring update but I have reached my 10 lb (5%) Weight Watchers (WW) goal! Okay, the explanation point at the end of the previous sentence is kind of a fake. I would be more excited about this milestone if I didn’t feel doomed to fail the last four weeks of my WW weigh-ins. Even though I have reached my 5% weight loss milestone…I’ve only lost .2 lbs in 2 weeks. I haven’t gained weight…true…but I haven’t really lost any either. I’m just very aware of my motivation loss and trying to figure out a way to get it back.
Speaking of that….WW has come out with an additional program for people who don’t really like to track what they eat (it is kind of a pain). This new plan, Simply Filling, just reminds me how I don’t need to pay someone to tell me how to eat healthy. What I’m saying is that the new plan is nothing you or I don’t know. If you eat these foods you will lose weight and/or live a healthier lifestyle. End of story. Duh. But they kind of put it in a list for you, that way what you can and can’t eat is pretty clear. The idea is that you can eat these foods whenever you’re hungry as long as you stop when you’re full and you don’t have to count the points they are worth. Also, you can still eat the sweets and fried food you like but they don’t count as power foods and you have to track those to stay on course. I know I haven’t been incorporating enough of these power foods into my diet. So incase you care what these power foods are here is the list:
Fruits
All fresh, frozen, or canned without added sugar
•Fruit canned in its own juice (drained)
•Fruit salad — mixed fruits with no added sugar
All fruits, except dried fruits and fruit juices, are zero PointsPlus values!
Vegetables
•Most fresh, frozen or canned without added sugar or oil — whether or not it has PointsPlus values per serving
•Potatoes — white, red sweet
All vegetables have zero PointsPlus values, except potatoes, peas, corn, and avocados. Avocados are not a Power Food.
Whole grains
•Brown and wild rice
•Hot cereals, cooked — without added sugar, dried fruits, or nuts
◦100% bran
◦Cream of rice
◦Cream of wheat
◦Grits
◦Oatmeal
•Pasta, whole-wheat or other whole-grain varieties
•Popcorn, air-popped, or 94% fat-free microwave-popped
•Whole-grain, ready-to-eat cereals without added sugar, dried fruits or nuts, and with 4g of fiber or more per serving
•Whole-grains such as:
◦Barley
◦Buckwheat
◦Bulgur
◦Cornmeal (polenta)
◦Whole-wheat couscous
◦Quinoa
Non-Fat Dairy and Dairy Substitutes
•Fat-free cheeses, including fat-free cottage cheese
•Fat-free milk and beverages made with fat-free milk, such as:
•Cappuccino or latte, as long as it’s sugar-free
•Yogurt, fat-free, plain or flavored with artificial sweetener
•Fat-free sour cream
•Soy products, unflavored and plain, such as:
•Calcium-fortified soy milk
•Unflavored soy milk
•Fat-free soy cheese
•Plain soy yogurt
Lean proteins (see food list for specific cuts and grinds)
•Beef, chicken, lamb, pork, turkey, veal: lean, trimmed, all skin removed
•Dried beans, including canned black, cannellini, kidney, refried, and white
•Dried peas, including black-eyed peas and split peas
•Eggs: Whole, whites, and fat-free substitute
•Game meats, including buffalo, elk, ostrich and venison
•Lentils
•Meat substitutes, including tofu and vegetarian burgers
•Most fish and shellfish: fresh, frozen, and canned
•Organ meats from beef, lamb, pork, veal, and poultry
Breads
◦Light English muffins
◦Light hot dog and hamburger rolls
◦Reduced-calorie (light) breads (whole grains are the best choice)
Soups
◦Broth, onion, and some broth- and tomato-based vegetable soups
Desserts
◦Sugar-free gelatin
Beverages
•Coffee (without sugar)
•Tea (without sugar)
•Diet soda
•Club soda
•Seltzer (plain or flavored, unsweetened)
•Water
Seasonings and condiments
•Baking powder
•Baking soda
•Capers
•Cocktail sauce
•Extracts
•Fat-free salad dressings
•Fat-free margarine
•Fat-free mayonnaise
•Flavorings
•Herbs
•Hot sauce (pepper sauce)
•Ketchup
•Lemon juice
•Lime juice
•Mustard
•Nonstick cooking or baking spray
•Salsa (fat-free)
•Soy sauce (shoyu)
•Spices
•Steak sauce
•Sugar substitutes
•Taco sauce
•Teriyaki sauce
•Vinegar
•Worcestershire Sauce
Healthy oils
Include 2 tsp each day without counting PointsPlus values. Use your weekly PointsPlus Allowance for any additional oil.
•Olive oil
•Canola oil
•Safflower oil
•Sunflower oil
•Flaxseed oil
I think this leaves a lot of meal options without having to mess with counting all those points. Now I can have my fruit smoothies, pasta, ranch dressing on salads, and buns on my hotdogs and burgers. I don’t have to count points for eggs or multigrain toast anymore! Best of all, I don’t have to count my fat-free cheese! Sorry, I’m a little excited. I won’t make any promises but I’m going to try to stick to these food choices for the next 4 weeks in order to get as close to my goal weight as possible.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I Am Thankful
There is so much for me to be thankful for. Let’s take a step back five years ago to November 2006. I was 19, pregnant, newly married, a sophomore in college and living in my in-laws basement with my recently laid-off husband. What I did have was faith: faith that my little family was going to be just fine.
So look at me now. My little family has grown into four. I finished college, bought a house and was lucky enough to find a decent job. I married the most responsible, trustworthy, honest and dependable man on earth. I have a daughter and I have a son. I never really thought it wouldn’t be this way. It never occurred to me that things wouldn’t work out. When it comes to family, I saw myself exactly where I am right now. I always knew my life would be a polar opposite to the life I had as a kid. When you think about it, it’s such an amazing thing. Am I really so lucky that things just worked out in my favor? Or did I make it happen all by myself, because I made the right choices and never saw myself anywhere else? Either way…I am grateful. I am grateful that Briana is my daughter, Hudson is my son and Charles is my husband. For some reason God put our souls together and I am glad for that.
So look at me now. My little family has grown into four. I finished college, bought a house and was lucky enough to find a decent job. I married the most responsible, trustworthy, honest and dependable man on earth. I have a daughter and I have a son. I never really thought it wouldn’t be this way. It never occurred to me that things wouldn’t work out. When it comes to family, I saw myself exactly where I am right now. I always knew my life would be a polar opposite to the life I had as a kid. When you think about it, it’s such an amazing thing. Am I really so lucky that things just worked out in my favor? Or did I make it happen all by myself, because I made the right choices and never saw myself anywhere else? Either way…I am grateful. I am grateful that Briana is my daughter, Hudson is my son and Charles is my husband. For some reason God put our souls together and I am glad for that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)