Still Waiting

I'm still in limbo. Limbo sucks. Did I get the job? Who knows. Did I pass my test? Who knows. Maybe I'll never ever know. Maybe I'll live in limbo forever. That's what it feels like. So I've just been enjoying the moments.

Once again I've given another shot to being healthier. I have thyroid issues so it makes it very hard and very slow to lose weight. I'm a compulsive scale checker, too. If I spent an entire week working my butt off to lose and I don't lose then I eat my feelings. It's a terrible circle. But the smart voice inside me knows the number isn't so important. Whatever I do I have to ask myself, can I do this for the rest of my life? Can I make this change? If the answer is no then why waste my time? So little by little I've been eating cleaner, less carbs, less sugar. I've been doing just a little exercise at the Y. These are things I can do and teach my children to do. And I will still have my bread, pasta, and chocolate. I will just have it less often. I feel good.  I feel like I'm trying. That's good enough.

So that's a little update. I'm in limbo, I'm trying to be healthier and I'm trying to enjoy the moments. Here are some moments from this year:

Bad End of the School Year Mom

I've read other posts on moms who have given up by May. I am just like those moms. It's true. I'm terrible. Sometimes I don't check Briana's backpack for days. I have stopped reading her Accelerated Reading Books with her at night. Luckily, she reads them on her own and it has made no difference. She still gets %100 on the tests. I have even stooped to only practicing spelling words with her once a week-the night before the test. We used to practice a little every night. Again, I'm so glad she doesn't need much of my help or she'd be in trouble. I'll start the week thinking...I'm going to do better this week. But then I don't and rethink...Eh, the year is almost over. I'm so tired. Why does the school year make ME so tired?

So here's to three more weeks of school! May the force be with Briana because mom has checked out.

Still Learning

Did you know the grammar rule for I and E is : I before E except after C, EXCEPT when it sounds like A!

I never caught on to that second rule the first time around. For example: Beige.

Is it weird that I'm excited about that? Don't answer.

Waiting for Good News

How did my test go? I'll be honest-it was hard. I could have been more prepared but I didn't want to over achieve for all this information that I'm going to forget anyway. Like I've said before- teaching will teach me. The students will teach me and my experience teaching will teach me. Call me a slacker.

Here's the kicker. I needed a 270 to proficiently pass. My score? 271! Can you believe that? I'm a little embarrassed. But really it's no big deal. No matter the score, if you pass these tests you are considered highly qualified in your content area. They are supposed to be even more difficult than the Praxis. So now is the painful part. I have to wait atleast another 2 weeks to know if I passed the writing portion. I had 60 minutes to write a literary analysis on that poem about the caged bird. I followed the format to a tee but analyzing anything in an hour is crazy. I had to think, pre-write, write and then proof. I hope it was good enough because if it's not I have to take both parts over and wait again. Ahhh!

Also, I had another interview with SJSD. This time it was specifically for Lafayette High School-9th grade English. I felt much better about this one than my last 2 very awkward interviews. But I'm not technically certified yet and it's through a route many people don't know about yet. So I think I'm at a disadvantage. I still have a good feeling and keeping my fingers crossed.

If I pass the writing portion I'm going to party.

If I get a teaching position offer I'm going to party harder.

If both things go my way I'm going to go crazy-in a good way!

Wish me luck!  

Hudson Briana Me

Hudson is back to really eating everything he was eating before-so relieved. He has been scheduled to get his tonsils out at the end of the month. We hope this will help his eating and sleeping issues. I feel bad because I'm not sure how long his tonsils have been so big. It may have started back in December when he started to have sleep issues. I never thought of sleeping to be related to tonsils. It's always scary to have your kids go under but he needs this to get better. I'm just hoping he isn't re-traumatized by the surgery experience. You never know with Hudson.

I've spent so much time talking about Hudson; let's talk about Briana. She is doing so well in everything. She gets good "grades" and works hard in class and loves making new friends. A few weeks ago I got to watch her sing with her class on stage-so cute! She's also being recognized at a community egg hunt this week for a character award. She isn't quite the same at home. She's still wonderful, of course, but I don't get paid the same attention as her teacher does. Why is that :) ? She has been fibbing to us lately about brushing her teeth at night. When we ask her if she did it she will say yes when she hasn't. When we then talk to her about lying she bursts into tears and runs from the room.  I can understand being embarrassed because you got caught-we all do it. But she's done it several times now. Every time we tell her not to lie and every time she runs crying. So after the third time a parent has to get firm. Now I'm the mean mom. I'm thinking she won't do it anymore.

I'm excited about Easter. I love getting stuff for their baskets and dying eggs and going to hunts. I like to put in more than just candy. This year I got Briana some hair chalk. She's going to love it. I got Hudson a mini Royals bat. It's a little risky on my part but he's so imaginative and it's so fun to watch him play with swords, bats, or any kind of instrument like that. He rarely plays with things the way they are "supposed" to be played with. And he's famous for adding his own sound effects. I don't need TV. I can watch Hudson play.

I take my last test next week-wish me luck! I'm worried because it's harder but I'm hoping I can get by. It will be so much easier to secure a job after I'm certified.

Hudson Ate

Hudson is finally making progress with eating. Yesterday I cut up some spaghetti noodles with sauce and he ate them.  Hallelujah.

I spent the day yesterday driving a nurse at a Heartland clinic crazy because the ENT appointments she was making me were not soon enough. "Can you check this hospital" I'd say. "How about this one?...Really, May 9th!? April 28th? That's not going to work. He's not eating!"

So we finally found a place to take him TODAY. But since he's eating a little better I feel much better and his tonsils must be feeling better. Another plus, he's sleeping really well. I am, however, convinced it's because of his lack of eating and therefore decrease of energy. So the no sleeping may come back but I will take that over no eating any day! 

Sometimes I think I will never ever see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then I do; I always do.

Hudson Won't...

Remember my post about Hudson won't sleep? Now it's Hudson won't eat. This child is going to make me jump on the crazy train.

I'll keep it short but I think the issue is that his tonsils are swollen. He doesn't have strep or a fever or anything else but the feeling of his tonsils rubbing together has made him scared to choke. So even though my little man is hungry he will not touch solid food, and has not touched it since early last week.

The doctor has recommended taking the tonsils out. So for now it's ice-cream, oatmeal, and yogurt until we can convince him it's okay to eat real food. Doctors always act like this stuff is no big deal but how long can you let something like this go on before he gets ill? I'm so relieved he at least likes to drink PediaSure or I wouldn't know what to do.

Be thankful for the little things in life, my friends.